flow

Rat
Original photo by tricky at Flikr

the storefronts line
with backs turned to everything they see

cars parked in the alley way, gently swaying to an unknown beat

it’s here I think of her.
it’s here I think of her.

my salvation in a can
drips slowly
rats run up, drink my goodness at my feet
run jump die.
run jump and die

laughter begins to echo across the sky
a small soft wind rolls
another joint to my lips
pressed
coarse and alive

it’s here I think of her.
it’s here I think of her.

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30 thoughts on “flow”

  1. I love the breath you breathe into the inanimate objects here. Find the usage very interesting- What is the reason for the stores to turn their back? Arrogance, ignorance, or perhaps a bit of both- yet anytime a back is turned the idea of betrayal or disappointment is conjured. Then you follow it up with cars, seemingly happy, as they sway-which is neat as this too is open to interpretation- are the cars themselves swaying-happy, or in a nervous rocking type movement, or perhaps it’s not the cars themselves, it’s the actions of those within that are forcing the movement-

    Love the ending as well.

    Short piece but so much texture beneath the words. Thanks, really enjoyed

    1. I’m not exaggerating when I say thanks for the warm comments! I am appreciative of the time you took to drop in and leave a comment. Hope to see yo back again!

  2. great opening line here…the storefronts line
    with backs turned to everything they see…then the rats and the joint and the deep emotions…the longing..the despair…lots of passion woven into an urban voice..enjoyed it much gary

  3. Very Nice Poetry … It was indeed enjoyable after reading this one !!

    Plus, Nice Cyborg Look .. πŸ˜›

    Anyways, Take a look some of my Poetry Collections …
    http://ashbeezone.wordpress.com/category/talent-underground/poetry-zone/

    some of my Haiku Collections
    http://ashbeezone.wordpress.com/category/creative-challenges/the-haiku-challenge/

    and also, on my very recent Work as well
    http://ashbeezone.wordpress.com/2011/10/22/lend-a-hand/

    !!! Happy Rally !!!
    Cheers !!

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